


when morning comes (you'll be gone)

by qubrazahra



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, F/M, Husband Taehyung, So basically, he's going through a divorce but he loves her still
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-16
Updated: 2017-01-16
Packaged: 2018-09-17 22:40:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9349415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qubrazahra/pseuds/qubrazahra
Summary: maybe sometimes love isn't keeping her close, maybe it is letting her leave when she wants to. maybe love isn't holding her to sleep but it is keeping it together when he wakes up alone. maybe love is realising that his happiness isn't hers.





	

taehyung watches what he believes will be the last sight of her in that nightgown he will ever see and he stops himself from staring longer than he should. he turns his sight to the floor and took a whiff of the chamomile in his hand. this is the woman he is going to love forever and it just dawn upon him that his life will have to go on without her being around any longer.

 

taehyung got married when he was fresh out of college. young, bright and filled with dreams he wanted to achieve, taehyung was optimistic that life will only get better. he married the girl he had met in his first year and who he only kept on loving more and more. like him, she was hopeful. she gives him balance, kept him rooted and it was the exact influence and love he needed to live through his youth. she kept him at his best and he knew better that without her he would be the worst half of himself. 

 

when he first met her, taehyung was in the middle of practicing for his dance performance with his close friend, jimin, in the school practice rooms. she waltz in like she came straight out a painting and jimin just introduced her to him as “the girl who will dance with us for the performance”. of course, taehyung knew a girl would join them. what jimin missed telling him was how awe-inspiring she would be. it took all of his will to not mess up the practice for the entire day with her dancing by him like that.

 

in time, taehyung got to know her better. in time, he even learnt to love her. in time, he knew that he wanted to be with her forever.

 

they were the best team he could ever imagine himself to be in. the best person he could ever had seen himself with. they grew together, with and into each other. they attained the things they only could imagine getting. the influence and support they gave each other was more than taehyung ever imagined. 

 

“aren’t you going to bed?” she asked, her voice gentle and he nods, motioning to his mug, that he will hit the sack when he’s done with his drink. she smiles and tells him that she’ll head to bed first.

 

taehyung stopped smoking years ago when he reached 30 because he figured that he’d done with the toxic he’s feeding his body. it’s almost 10 years later and he reached out to a cigarette he bought hours ago, head out of the house and lit it on fire. he took a drag on the stick and he closed his eyes thinking about what was going to unfold in a  day’s time.

 

the divorce proceedings.

 

god, how he hated the way the word sounds even when he thinks of it. he takes another drag. he doesn’t understand why it had had to come to this. taehyung is frustrated but he doesn’t know what else to do. he leaves the stick in his mouth and runs both his hand in his hair. 

 

it was close to 2 months ago, in their favourite restaurant. they were having a nice meal, accompanied by the weather outside. taehyung had closed a business deal at work and they were having wine to celebrate it. she looked beautiful, as beautiful as she did the first time he met her. strangely for him, she is always beautiful. beautiful when she dresses up, beautiful even when she is at home, in her nightgown. taehyung remembers telling her how he wanted his older days to be just like that day. them in their favourite restaurant, having a splendid meal. he notices she had only smiled, never said much else. when they finished their food and it was getting darker outside, she finally said something. he wished she never did.

 

“i’m… not happy, taehyung.”

 

he didn’t know what to say then. she said she wasn’t happy when to him, before she said all that, that night was going great to him. he watches her as she explained how she felt. how lonely she is even with him around. she tells him, she haven’t been happy in a while and she’s frustrated. she tells him she needs time. time off everything… time off him. and taehyung remembers feeling so small that night. 

 

somehow it ended up to this, to her asking for a divorce. for years, she had been the pillar of strength, his person to lean on. without her, he would’ve been a complete mess. she was all there was to him. when she told him that she was not happy, that she craves the happiness she once had, there was desperation in her eyes. a happiness that he cannot provide and taehyung broke down. he knew he shouldn’t. he knew when she was at her lowest and unhappy, he should’ve been there to tell her that he’s there for her, that he’ll be with her all the time but he couldn’t. instead he pleads with her. he tells her he loves her, he wants her all the time. and that he’ll be better. none of which changed anything.

 

taehyung takes another long drag of the cigarette and he lets the smoke fill his emptiness which have been making him somber most of his days. he cannot imagine life without her, not the least bit. it had been 2 months since she told him how he felt, 2 months since the proceedings had been in motion and 2 months in, he still cannot understand how he can just let it happen. he tried to stop it, tried telling her he will change whatever she needs him to but she tells him the problem is her and there is nothing for him to change. he told her he would wait. taehyung tells her, there is no need for a divorce. but she insisted, telling him there was no reason a good man like him had to wait on a woman like her. if he was a good man, why would she leave him like this?

 

he had spent his life with her, he spent his life loving and being with her. he remembers his youth only with her, the burning passion for life and for her. he remembers his growth into adulthood with her, marriage and life in great order. taehyung looks into the night sky and he sighs. what had he not done? what is not enough… why is she leaving him?

 

he asked. of course he did. taehyung tried all he could to keep her around. he changed whatever he could change for her but nothing appeased her. she tells him that she needed to find herself. in the midst of living their life, she lost herself, she says. he understands that but he just don’t understand why they had to be separated. 

 

taehyung closes his eyes and he thinks of what jimin said. it’s decades later and jimin is still taehyung’s closest friend. when jimin heard of the divorce, the man just downright gasped aloud. he couldn’t believe it. to him, taehyung’s marriage was one of the best union he had ever seen in his life. there was no room for anything to have gone wrong. but jimin also knows that there isn’t always a reason for something happening, especially not for a change in the heart. all he could do was console the heartbroken taehyung to the best of his abilities.

 

“at least you guys don’t have any kids… i suppose it makes the split a little easier?” jimin had commented then.

 

taehyung realises his cigarette is burning out and took another stick before lighting it up. kids. he had always wanted kids. he loved children, he takes care of jimin’s as if those kids were his own. initially they had planned on having children. when they were 25, she got pregnant, it was the greatest news to them. taehyung doted on his wife like never before, as if it were possible. took care of her to the best of his ability, made sure to provide for her all she needed. but somehow, as fate has it, they lost the baby. they never saw it coming. 

 

that loss was grieved for years. the fear of losing the baby manifested into something bigger and they gave up on having any children. they were so afraid. she was so afraid and taehyung never wanted to ever ask her again. she fell into the worst bout of depression. for months, she would not talk, their relationship strained. but he keeps on trying to make her feel better. he cooks for her, buys her flowers, brings her to travel around the world. taehyung kept on loving her and loving her and eventually she got better. she talked more, she became the person she used to be and they recovered from their slump. they never talked about having children again.

 

it did not mean taehyung never wanted any children. thinking about what jimin said again taehyung thinks. maybe having kids might make the split a little easier. if they had kids, at least taehyung would have someone around even when she leaves.

 

the sky was getting brighter and taehyung realised he had been out sitting and thinking all night. he walks into the house, and passes by the room his wife had taken residence in. when they decided to separate, they thought they could still stay in the same house but they could separate rooms. it was difficult for taehyung to get used to sleeping alone. to wake up feeling so empty. he sees a silhouette under the covers and he walks into her room. he pulls up the comforter to cover her snuggly and he pushes her hair out of her face. this is the woman he will love forever. 

 

he sighs under his breath and makes his way out. he did not want to sleep. he sits on the couch in the living room and he stares at their wedding photo on the wall. it was the happiest day of his life, it still is. he remembers every details. how she looked in the dress. how her beauty made him feel as if he was underdressed for his own wedding and he smiles. he thinks about how she made him feel that day: as if he had won the deal of his life- and he had. 

 

taehyung finally cries. he buries his face in his hand and he sobs like a child. he hates it. he hates how when tomorrow comes, it is final. she will no longer be his wife and the wedding, for her, would be distant memory as it would continue to be his best memory.

 

taehyung looks up to the photo of him drowning in his youth and the woman who illuminates his life stands beside him. he cannot fathom the life he will have without her and he breaks apart. she’s leaving and he cannot stop her. when morning comes, it’s all over. 

 

taehyung gets up, heads to his room and lay in his best. he shuts his eyes, even if for 5 minutes. he cannot stop her from leaving. she needs to find her happiness, even if it means for him to let go of his.

**Author's Note:**

> i hate myself for writing this. but i'm diggity bomb at unrequited/ one-sided love... something not at all useful in life, in fact it makes me indulge in self-loathing because all i do is put my muse in tremendous pain through my craft


End file.
